ouch!!

pain pain
go away

i am not very good in expressing myself lalo na sa pagsusulat... like what my bro said: wla akong gift pagdting sa journalism... anyway, i still want to share my thoughts... hehehe...

it's been quite a while now since i felt so happy... yng tipong khet may problems ka, nraramdaman mong masaya ka... minsan naiisip ko, tama kya mga decisions na nagawa o gngwa ko? will it lessen the pain that i am feeling right now or will it will make things worst? my family has no idea what im going through right now... my friends thinks that i am doing ok, but i am not. i guess, im just good in hiding those emotions to myself... people sees me as a jolly person... prang wlang problems... always smiling... always laughing... ang di nila alam, yn ang way ko pra makalimutan yng nraramdaman ko... minsan, nag-iisip ako... am i a bad person pra ma-experience ko lahat lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko? nakakarma ba ako? pro bket? ano bang gnwa ko? i just want to make things clear... this is not about my ex and me... i already accepted our fate... we can never be one no matter how hard we try... we're just not meant to be... this is about reese and all the other complications in life... i am not sure if i am doing the right thing pra kay reese... i am not sure if i would be a good mommy kay reese o kng mabbgyan ko sya ng magandang future... i am not sure kng tama yng decision ko na ipakilala at ilapit pa c reese sa daddy nya... what can i do? she will never be his priority... how can i tell her the truth about her daddy? at pano ko ssbhn sa family ko lahat-lahat?

i hate this feeling.... i need a break... i need to be alone... sna khet one day lng, mawala lahat ng alalahanin ko sa buhay... minsan gus2 ko matulog na lng ng 24 hours pra lng mapahinga isip ko... how i wish this pain will go away soon...